I find RPF deeply uncomfortable for the reasons you've stated, as well. Though, I will admit when I was new to reading fanfiction years ago, I did read a few RPF's and even though they were quite good, I was uncomfortable as I was reading them. I avoid RPF and have for years since then. I do think that intimate sex scenes are a wonderful thing to read, but for me the plot and characterization come first and are the reason I read in the first place whether it be original fiction or fan fiction. I rarely read pure PWP's or Erotica, since I find those types of stories have superficial characterization without any emotional depth. I've tried to write two PWP's and have failed utterly, since I can't not write without a plot and an emotional viewpoint. So they are Porn With Plot rather than a true Porn Without Plot stories, and I'm okay with that. Objectification of the actors who play the character's we love, I do think is part of the fandom consciousness. For me, yes, I love the actors that play my beloved characters, but the character's and their canon worlds are the most important thing for me. When I post actor pics on my wall, I think of them in terms of their fandom characters. It's a fine line, but a necessary one in my opinion.

I'm not really into reading most BDSM stories, but I enjoy Ties That Bind because of your plot and characterization. It's a wonderfully exciting SGA adventure and I do find the BDSM aspects and world you've created fascinating. Best, The Nut.