Of course, the worse part of an attention-seeking writer are the readers they leave in their wake who feel entitled to intrude on the process of other writers because they felt validated by a previous experience. They are utterly comfortable providing a list of wishes and wants to other writers in their feedback. If they want a certain pairing in a story—they demand it and will abuse a writer if they don’t get it.
I’ve said before that reader entitlement is the ugliest part of fandom. I’ve been threatened with rape and murder for not updating when a reader felt I should. There have been times when readers have essentially had screaming fits on my contact form or in an email because I didn’t write the pairing they wanted or I chose a Stargate project over a Harry Potter one for Rough Trade.
Some readers take my decisions regarding my own writing as a personal insult and have no problems letting me know that I’m ruining their life by not writing what they want me to write.
Recently, I had a reader send me a single sentence email, and it was:
“I was recently diagnosed with breast cancer, I hope you finish Phoenix before I die.”
At first, I was outraged, but I wasn’t particularly surprised since I’ve seen this kind of emotional blackmail in fandom before. I deleted the email without a response, and I put the sender on a filter in my email that automatically trashes any email she sends me in the future. Because I want no part of her bullshit but I do wonder how many other writers she’s approached with this disgusting tactic.
Those who only read in fandom don’t genuinely understand the creative process. They don’t understand the intimacy of writing or the emotional risk of posting it in public. They never will understand, really, and investing yourself in trying to make them is just intellectual masochism.
He counts on me to strike up conversations, carry the small talk, and make people feel like they're getting to know him even when they're not. He's the kind of person who'd rather not shake hands but will because he knows it's polite but he honestly doesn't tolerate other people touching him all that well at all.
Except for me.
His sister pointed out to me about a year after I started dating him that she hadn't been invited to hug him since she was in high school. Eventually, she realized he just wasn't comfortable with that level of contact even with family and stopped as she said "inflicting her desire for physical affection on him". I was kind of floored actually because he hugs me (and has since the start) ten to fifteen times a freaking day.
Honestly, he's all up in my space all the damn time.
I'm his person, his safe place, and his comfort all rolled up into one.
I'm an extrovert, you might have noticed, and will talk to strangers just as happily as I will to a person I've known for 20 years if I'm in the mood for conversation. I went to the grocery store the other day and had five conversations with complete strangers about everything from produce to the best organic milk.
As we were leaving the parking lot my husband said, "It must be exhausting being you. It's no wonder you have the following you do online--it's like you have a cult personality or something."
And I responded, "Well I do run a cock worship cult actually so I can't even get mad."
Regardless, I'm all whiny and shit because I can't listen to music on my headphones which is super important because it's a huge part of my writing process so I'm not writing. I've only got about 30k more plotted for my RT story and I've already posted 10k so I'll meet my goal for the month (surely) but it's annoying to be limited by a physical situation versus say a mental one where I'm just not in the mood to write.
So, I've been sitting here playing a stupid Facebook game and I read some intolerant bullshit today that made me pissy I had to take time out in the shower. Well, I didn't have to take a shower during my computer time out but it seemed like a good use of that time.
To check things out, I'm getting an MRI tomorrow though the doctor doesn't expect to find anything. It's just she doesn't currently have a picture of my brain. I told her, that the last time I saw something stupid on the internet that I got a brief look at my brain and it looked normal. ;-)
Anyways, I'm going to try to journal more to sort of make my whole move from LJ to Dreamwidth worth it....that implies I had to work. I didn't. That shit went smooth as silk still I haven't checked for duplicate entries yet and honestly I don't care if there are duplicate entries. More and more the whole thing with LJ and Russia bothers me so I hope people are paying attention to what's being said and they aren't sticking their heads in the sand over the whole thing.
Additionally, the English-language terms of service are no longer considered legally-binding. The new terms prompted wide concern from users who believed that their content would now be targeted under Russian censorship policies, including the country's "gay propaganda" law.
If you value all the work you've put into your journal over the years, you'll move your shit before you're subject to this bullshit.
Anyways, you can read it here: http://www.roughtrade.org/category/