keiramarcos: (Default)

I have some nosy ass bitches for neighbors. I fit in like a mother fucker.

9:30 AM - Door bell rings, Cock Provider goes to answer it because I'm not allowed to answer the door on his Sabbath because I have no respect for religion and he'd prefer that I not insult people on the Lord's day if they come to the door to sell Jesus.

9:32 AM - He comes into my office and says, "your Old Lady Posse is at the door. They want you to walk Sisko with them around the corner because one of them heard yelling on the next street over." (Aside, I'm the youngest woman on my street by at least 20 years)

I say, "put his harness on while I find my shoes!" He does this grudgingly and I'm out the door to investigate the goings on with the OLP at 9:36.

We power walk down the street (they are extremely fit ladies. I'm exhausted now by the way) and around the corner. Unfortunately there is nothing casual about the six of us walking down the street (even with a couple of dogs as an excuse). But that turned out to not be a problem since practically everyone living on the street was out on their front lawns anyway watching the... screaming fit two women were having over the fact that apparently one of their dogs is in heat (a French bulldog) and the other's dog (a spaniel mix of some sort) mounted her like a boss.

They came to blows twice before their husbands separated them. Meanwhile, we're all just standing there watching the show because why bother with pretending we aren't when like 15 people are standing out on their laws watching already? Sisko is so bored he looks like he's contemplating a nap when Roscoe (a Miniture Pinscher one of the old ladies borrowed from a neighbor man for her 'cover') started barking. He barked so hard he was bouncing. Sisko stared at him for a few seconds then just Gibbs-Smacked him. Roscoe fell over with a huff.


Our laughter drew the ire of the two women fighting over the dogs and I barely kept my old lady neighbors from getting a genuine fist fight.

August 2017

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