keiramarcos | All the Queen's Bitches

So, I think my position on nitpicking is pretty well known. I certainly don't tolerate it with any kind of good grace or manners and I've been told by several asshats that it makes me "ungrateful and horrible". Whatever. That's not actually the whole point of this post... it's this:

Did you know that I've received emails from FIVE different authors since January telling me that they actually stopped posting their fan fiction on the Internet because of nitpickers?

The thing is that nitpickers don't piss me off anymore. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that my "give a damn" on the subject of nitpicking is broken. I mean my "give a damn" had a great fall and all the queen's bitches don't stand a chance in hell of putting it back together again. Just so we're clear. Right. Moving on.

Maybe I'm using the wrong term here because I don't mean people, who out of the good nature of their hearts, point out typos when they are asked for. I mean people who offer unwanted critique. I mean people who think if you don't run over to your site and correct the problem they had with your fic that you will forever be viewed as ungrateful and cruel and a no-good, horrible bitch.

It's just sad, really, that these asshats actually run people out of the fandom with their crap. Really sad. Fandom is supposed to be fun, right?

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Yeah, what Keira said!

I know exactly where one of my writer's block issues stems from. There are two people on my f-list that I know in RL, one of whom is a woman I've known for years, and whom I love and respect a great deal. They approached me at a party and after praising my writing and telling me how much they love my fanfiction, blah, blah, blah, and then dropped this huge bomb on my head.

They told me I shouldn't be writing fiction at all. I should write family humor, like Erma Bombeck.

O_o??

"Oh, don't get us wrong, we really like your slash stories, they're really good, but you're sooooo much better at humor, and there's such a niche for it, you should stop writing that and focus on the humor!! You could be another Erma Bombeck!!"

To say that's thrown me for a loop would be like calling the almost total destruction of San Francisco in 1906 a "seismic disturbance."

You'd think I'd learned to disregard my friend's opinion after the debacle that happened after I asked her to look over a novel I'd written for feedback on the pagan elements I'd included in it, and was told after three months that she was in the process of "re-writing" it for me, since it was "awful."

You know what? Now that I think about it, I'm beyond pissed off about this. Why am I letting this get to me??? GAAAAAH!!!!

Sorry, didn't mean to get into this confessional, because really, what I wanted to say was sometimes, I read something that makes me want to beg to be the author's beta, but I don't, because I would never presume to do that for someone I didn't know, but I would never consider telling someone what to write, even if I thought it was absolute crap. That's just plain rude. If I can't comment positively on it, I don't comment at all.

*goes off to wreak havoc on the weeds in her garden and wrestle with the demons of writer's block*

The only thing worse than someone who tells you what you should be writing is this person:

"Oh, you're a writer? I've always wanted to write a book."

Dear gods, yes! Because writing a book is just so damn easy, right? You just throw a bunch of words together and bang, there you go.

And then they wonder why you're givin' them the stink-eye.

So when you got it back and she asked you what you thought did you say: "You ruined it! Thank god I had a clean copy of it saved!"

THen start posting under a new name and when she asks why you haven't written anything for awhile say: "Because ppl like you made it impossible for me to love writing anymore. I'll let everyone know you ruined it for them."

I love to write humor...but I'd have had to tell her my humor isn't for a family audience. Then I would have written and over the top angsty piece and dedicated it to her...for killing the humor.

I don't tell anyone I know in real life that I write. What happened to you would be why. :::hands over chocolate:::

*laughs ruefully*

I told her I would take her suggestions under consideration and give them as much attention as they were due, which... were basically none.

Wow
Now I really understand where your writer's block comes from.

For occupational therapy towards relieving the block, I recommend a dartboard and photographs of these "friends" to practice on. A plot bunny could occur while drilling holes in their heads. LOL

I'm afraid I'm too blunt a person to even pretent to be polite in situations like that. Cutting sarcasm is more my typical response. That said, by all means decimate the weeds, and try to find a humorous comeback or five you can use in your next fic. In fact, write out the entire confrontation with your best zingers. LOL

You have given me several nefariously evil ideas.

... I like it. I like it a lot.

*plotting, plotting, plotting*

I admire humorous stories. I love Erma Bombeck, but let's face it, her humor doesn't relate to slash at all. I have a couple of stories in my folder that I still laugh every time I read them.

If you need feedback on certain things for your stories, I would imagine that there is any number of us who could help you out. I am pagan, so there you go if you need help!

I like Erma Bombeck, too. I think she's great. I also think she's already done it, and ain't no need for me to rehash it. And I freely admit that many of my regular entries in my LJ about my family are funny because the weirdest shit happens to us, the kind of stuff you just can't make up. I mean, I've had a mockingbird fly INTO our minivan through the open doors and start freaking out my kids (and me, I admit it) and had to stop my daughter from closing the door and trapping it in with me and my son. And yes, it did finally fly out. I've had a wet, cold lizard fall out of the ivy growing on our porch into the front of my shirt and start burrowing down into my bra, prompting me to start tearing off my clothes in a frantic effort to get the damn thing OUT (trust me, if you had a large, wet, COLD lizard trying to dive between your girls, you'd be stripping, too!), while my neighbors eyes fell out of their heads.

However, I don't necessarily want to write a book about this. And I happen to like writing slash.

And thank you for your offer. I'm pagan myself, I had simply wanted another perspective on the rituals I was using because, you know how it is. How much do you get technically correct, and how much do you fudge? How much do you have your characters stick to "standard" protocols, and how much do you have them go with the flow? I wanted her feedback on the believability, and instead got a mess handed back to me. So, if you're willing to look over those parts when I get through with editing on them, I would greatly appreciate it!

All the Queen's Bitches

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