Thunder God

My husband comes home bitching about some jackass at work who argued with him about religion. (aside: I've told him repeatedly not to talk religion, politics, science, reality, or weather with his Mormon co-worker. Motherfucker just doesn't listen to me.) And he ends his rant with, "Well, not like you care. You're an atheist." 

And I say, "Actually, yesterday I had a moment during the storm and have recognized Thor as my Lord and Savior." Pause. "Well, it could've happened when I was watching the Avengers Blu-Ray on the big mancave TV. The surround sound was rather a religious experience for me."

Cock Provider stares at me in open-mouthed horror. "You can't worshi Thor!"

"Why the hell not?"  I ask, putting on my best incensed-Southern-Woman expression. 

He sputters. "You just can't!"

And I say, "Let me get this straight -- you can worship a vengeful, spiteful, intolerant God who spends the entire Old Testament punishing his followers before he takes a page out of Zeus' playbook and knocks up a virgin where upon he sacrifices his son for the sins of people who haven't even been born yet but I can't worship the acknowledged God of Thunder?"

"Honey, you're being ridiculous. The bible..."

"There are books about Thor and Odin. There are movies about him. Historical documentaries on the mythology that surrounds him. All of which are no different than the books, movies, and history written about your so-called savior." I hold up a hand. "Look, don't be jealous. It's not my fault you didn't pick a kick-ass god like I did. Don't hate the player. Hate the motherfuckin' game."

He spent the rest of the evening sulking. Most entertainment since I went to the organic food store

My tweets

• Fri, 03:28: The Fart That (Almost) Altered My Destiny - http://t.co/TdKyPlgU - LMAO. Don't drink while you read this. Go pee before you click the link.
• Fri, 03:46: Thunder God http://t.co/YUDeOCxu