I finished my Rough Trade halfway through the challenge. Normally, I pace myself, and if I’m in the mood to write—I plot enough to get me through the whole month. I mean, it doesn’t always work out, and sometimes I finish late (or I don’t finish at all), but I feel weird. Also, I feel oddly dissatisfied with my story. This isn’t a ploy for praise or whatever—I had some great feedback on RT, so people enjoyed it. I’m just all, eh, about it and I don’t know why. I DO NOT WANT YOU TO COMMENT OR EMAIL ME TO TELL ME WHY YOU THOUGHT MY STORY SUCKED.
I hated my zero draft going into the challenge, so I basically replotted on day-one, and the idea really didn’t solidify for me at all throughout the writing. It could boil down to the fact that I’ve basically only written bonding fics for the Sentinel for ages. I mean, I wrote the Subtle Body for RT, and it wasn’t a bonding fic at all. It was for that stupid urban fantasy challenge, and honestly, I’ve never hated a challenge more and I include that single POV challenge in that list!
Perhaps it’s Finding Atlantis’ fault. I mean, that fic was so emotionally satisfying and rewarding to write. I fell in love with the pairing again, and I needed that for a lot of reasons. I feel like Eye of the Tiger fell short of that when it comes to intimacy and emotional content, which is my jam as of late. Every writer is their own worst critic, and in the end, I’d rather be that writer that always has questions for myself. I don’t want to ever be that writer who assumes I have nothing left to learn or nothing left to improve on.
Maybe it’s because I’ve been stuck in my house with my husband for 17 days (and counting). He’s telecommuting and Y’ALL, he sucks at it. I threatened to report him to HR (my mom) last week, and he pouted for hours. I can’t even with this motherfucker.
It could be that I’m finished, and now I have no reason to avoid editing my fucking Quantum Bang.
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