keiramarcos: (Default)
Had a headache most of the day. I took a nap (with some medication) and I feel better but not enough to actually do a podcast which sucks because Saturday shows are usually very fun. Maybe we'll do a writer's table tomorrow or something. We'll want to start discussing April's RT challenge eventually. I'm not sure what I'll do with that. It's a sequel challenge and I certainly have no shortage of completed works that I could write a sequel to but there is a word count limit in April which would be challenging.

I'm leaning toward a sequel to Iterum but I've not had great luck with Stargate and Rough Trade at the same time lately. All of my HP fics would probably require a rather long sequel and that buts up against the challenge word limit. I'm all eh. I read through all of my Hobbit works in progress this week. I'm still especially fond of Small Magic. I'd be done if could make myself write a big ass battle but me and action aren't good friends. Sigh.

Ello & Junk

Dec. 7th, 2018 05:26 pm
keiramarcos: (Default)

I settled at Ello for my Tumblr replacement. I like the interface and the conversation potential at least. Still figuring out how it works but I like the artist/creator vibe from the outset.

Here's me:  (My site is marked NSFW so you'll have to create an account AND agree to see such content in your profile settings before you can see my blog -- this is their rule not mine. I can't control it no more than I can control my foul mouth.)

I've finished the second draft of my QB and I've started three different plots for next year. We'll see how it goes. I'm already considering a sequel to my QB and I'm wondering if it'll be a fit for next year's November RT (canon divergence theme). 

Anyways, that's all from me.

keiramarcos: (Default)
 I've been suffering from migraines most of my life (since puberty in fact) but this whole cluster headache thing is a new one for me. I had a shot today at the doctor's office so this marks the first time in basically weeks when my head hasn't hurt.

To check things out, I'm getting an MRI tomorrow though the doctor doesn't expect to find anything. It's just she doesn't currently have a picture of my brain. I told her, that the last time I saw something stupid on the internet that I got a brief look at my brain and it looked normal. ;-)

Anyways, I'm going to try to journal more to sort of make my whole move from LJ to Dreamwidth worth it....that implies I had to work. I didn't. That shit went smooth as silk still I haven't checked for duplicate entries yet and honestly I don't care if there are duplicate entries. More and more the whole thing with LJ and Russia bothers me so I hope people are paying attention to what's being said and they aren't sticking their heads in the sand over the whole thing.

For reference:

On April 4, 2017, LiveJournal significantly modified its terms of use, making the service subject to the jurisdiction of the Russian Federation. The new terms prohibit users from posting "advertising and/or political solicitation materials", or performing any actions that are "contradictory to the laws of the Russian Federation". The terms also state that users are subject to Article 10.2 of the Federal Act of the Russian Federation No. 149 (laws which have been described as "draconian" and restricting free expression),[106][107] which dictates that blogs with more than 3000 daily visitors are classified as media outlets and may not be published anonymously, are responsible for the dissemination of unverified information, and are restricted from posting pornography, obscene language, or "extremist materials".[107][108][106] 

Additionally, the English-language terms of service are no longer considered legally-binding. The new terms prompted wide concern from users who believed that their content would now be targeted under Russian censorship policies, including the country's "gay propaganda" law.[109][61] 


If you value all the work you've put into your journal over the years, you'll move your shit before you're subject to this bullshit.

keiramarcos: (hearts)
Why did I leave Live Journal? I can't speak Russian and the English translation of their TOS apparently isn't binding.

I'm in the process of moving Evil Author Day to Dreamwidth as well so you'll get a new link for that soon enough.

keiramarcos: (Default)
The thing is I'm perfectly capable of writing. I was taking a part Unspeakable Plot for the triad option (that failed miserably around 100k mark by the way. My plot just can't handle that kind of relationship build, but I digress) and I wrote about 20k of extra material in about four days. So it's not the act of writing that is the problem for me.

I have plenty of ideas so it's not that I don't have any ideas to work on and to be honest I probably have about 50 works in progress that I could spend time on.

I just...don't want to.

I've been writing for three decades so, of course, there have been times when I simply have no desire to do it but I always hate these points in my life as I feel stifled and weird.

There's this moat of dismal around my creative mind and I don't even want to get in the boat and try to cross it.

It's such a weird place to be.

keiramarcos: (hearts)
I've been posting a bunch of shorts on my site but I neglected to announce them on LJ so here is the list below ;-). Mostly, I've been mentally stretching as I prepare for National Novel Writing Month.

You can find links here:

  • Unchained (NCIS) - GEN, Chained Tag

  • Stay (The Hobbit) - Thorin/Bella, Rule 63

  • The Bridge (Stargate: Atlantis) - GEN

  • You Can’t Play a Player (NCIS) - GEN, Boxed In Tag

  • Reckless and a Little Magical (Harry Potter) Harry/Hermione

  • The Spell (Harry Potter) Harry/Hermione

  • The Quiet One (NCIS) GEN, Aliyah Tag

  • Give In (NCIS) DiNozzo/McGarrett, Semper Fidelis Tag

  • Hard (Stargate: Atlantis) McKay/Sheppard

  • The Confession (Stargate: Atlantis) McKay/Sheppard

  • The Box (Stargate: Atlantis) McKay/Sheppard

  • Problem Solving (Harry Potter) Harry/Hermione

  • Riot Bar (Stargate: Atlantis) McKay/Sheppard

  • His Bright Spot (Criminal Minds) Penelope Garcia/Ian Edgerton

  • Small Favors (Hawaii Five-0) GEN

  • Never Enough (MacGyver-2016) Jack Dalton/Spencer Reid

These works are COMPLETE and all are less than 2,000 words.

List updated: 10/24/2016

keiramarcos: (Default)
  So, I have OCD. Full diagnosis sort of thing in my 20s. I medicate for it to keep from going completely off the deep end but even with medication I have a minor issues for instance:

  • I like to sit in certain places in the places I go often (especially the library or the cafe)

  • I park my car in certain areas of parking lots and have been known to wait for a spot to open up.

  • I write with a certain kind of pen and changing that pen can be stressful (like when a company changes a design or stops making my pen altogether)

  • I do certain things in certain places -- write there, read in the chair, do work at my main computer, don't do work on my laptop.

  • I have a few minor hoarding issues -- that I work very hard to keep under control so I don't end up on an episode of Hoarders. I allow myself to keep notebooks, pens, bags, purses but nothing else.

Sometimes forcing myself to throw things away can be traumatic as fuck. Today, I made myself throw some things away that I'd been keeping for no real reason (receipts, old magazines, catalogs--I wish I was kidding) and I thought I was okay with it. I mean there was no panic before hand and my husband came upstairs. He asked me a question about something and I just had a complete and utter meltdown. I burst into tears and cried for twenty minutes solid.

I have this deep sense of shame attached to my OCD and often it drives me crazy that throwing away a fucking receipt can lead to such a loss of control. It's embarrassing -- this attachment I have to old mail and receipts. It makes no sense but then I guess if it made sense I wouldn't keep it for months at a time in a basket until I force myself to go through it and throw it away.

My husband is a real trooper though and that's the truth of it. He just made me some tea and put me on the couch and let me cry until I was done.

I can't remember his question and I'm a thousand percent sure I did't answer it.
keiramarcos: (Default)
I bought a seedless watermelon. It was a beautiful green with a creamy yellow belly. It sounded great when I thumped it (I don't know why I thump it. My grandma did, my mom does it, I do it. I come from a long line of watermelon thumpers.) I bring home my loot, super excited since watermelon is one of my favorite summertime treats.

Now, my mother is firmly of the belief that you can only buy GOOD watermelon between July 1st and August 31st. She's very serious about this and will not buy a watermelon even a day outside of this time period. I'm not patient enough to wait for the magical Watermelon Witching Hour (tm). So I bought one the last week of June.

I set up my watermelon cutting tools (large knife, cutting board, some bowls to store it in my frig, a garbage bag for the rind) and start peeling my watermelon like I was taught to do on Youtube in an honestly much slower fashion than the YouTube guy. Regardless, I have the tools, the technique, and this beautiful watermelon. I cut off the rind, slice it half to start cutting my little watermelon squares and...much to my horror it is not seedless. It had all the seeds.  I mean it, it had all the seeds I've avoided in the years since seedless watermelons became a thing in grocery stores.

The betrayal was real.

But I'm not wasteful so I cut my very seedy watermelon and we ate it. It wasn't terrible but I don't particularly enjoy spitting seeds out.

Yesterday, the husband and I were at a popular warehouse store and they had big bins of seedless watermelon everywhere. But my betrayal was fresh--would I get all the seeds again? The man assured me that statistically speaking it was unlikely that I'd be so betrayed again so I picked one out (with much less joy than normal).

I cut it and it was perfect. I called my mother to tell her that perhaps there is something to her Watermelon Witching Hour thing after all.
keiramarcos: (Default)
1. Your deep, personal investment in my work makes me really uncomfortable.

2. Sometimes your feedback is phrased in such a way that I worry the line between fiction and reality is pretty much nonexistent for you.

3. I hate it when you read between the lines of my story and make up shit that didn't actually happen then make it seem like you're really unhappy with your assumptions and blame me. It's not cool.

4. Your homophobia makes me deeply uncomfortable. (Every single time someone emails me asks me what the pairing is going to be for Lord of the High Elves because they'll be so upset for wasting their time reading it if it's Harry/Draco)

5. Being a Big Name Fan isn't something I strived for, I hate being called one, and it's not contagious so stop trying to rub yourself all over me. It's weird.

keiramarcos: (Default)

So here's the thing. People steal. People torrent ebooks, music, tv shows, and movies because they believe they have the right to do so. It's going to happen and because often these sites are hosted in countries with incredibly lax standards regarding the intellectual property rights of others -- they get away with it.

It's going to happen and I can't focus on it because it would just lead to me being discouraged and fill me up with so much anger that I have no room for anything else. So I've reported the torrent thing to my publisher and they'll send a take down notice that will probably be ignored. You see, these sites they don't face any sort of legal consequences for their actions.

My only real recourse as a writer is to rely on good, honest people to not steal from me. There probably isn't a book published on the market today that hasn't been pirated by some asshole who places no value on the work of the creator. They don't value the time or the creativity of the author and absolutely nothing is going to change that mindset.

Just remember if you're tempted to download something off the internet for free when you know you shouldn't -- you're disrespecting the work that many people put into producing it.

You're slapping writers, actors, directors, AND the people who purchased it legimately in the face every single time you pirate something.

keiramarcos: (Default)

I think, sometimes, that you don't realize how much stress you're suffering under until your situation changes in a drastic way and that source of stress is removed. Over the past month, I've been going through a battery of tests for leukemia. The reason being is that I had all the symptoms (but one) of someone with chronic leukemia. All of the blood work that has been done came back negative today -- now they're testing for other things and I might have a bone marrow biopsy in my future just to be sure. But the thing is when the doctor told me she wanted to check for leukemia my brain sort of went sideways on me.

I worry a lot about breast cancer - I have every reason to. But leukemia? I wasn't worried about that. I had tests done about five years ago because of an elevated white blood cell count and everything came back fine. I thought that was just off the table for future concern which I know is stupid. Hindsight really is a motherfucker.

The doctor ordered some more tests today because obviously there is something wrong and the bone tenderness in particular is worrying for both me and my doctor. A consistant amount of pressure on practically any large bone in my body causes a moderate amount of pain. It doesn't hurt as I sit here though if I crossed my legs on my foot stool -- the bottom leg would start to hurt almost immediately. It's such a weird situation.

So, it's not leukemia. I can take those dire numbers off the table because the average life expectancy for someone with chronic leukemia is just ten fucking years after diagnosis. I've had that number brewing around in my head for almost an entire month.

Anyways, lately I've been short-tempered and it's shone itself in a variety of ways in my online life. I came home this afternoon after going over all of the results and just crawled into my bed. The relief was was so intense it actually gave me a headche. How odd is that?

keiramarcos: (hearts)
It's often said that "The Sentinel" is the little black dress of fandom. You can stick the theme in any fandom and make it work. Sentinels and Guides just spring up full grown in any fandom you fuse with the Sentinel. The challenge for July is to write 3 short stories (10 to 15k) in three different fandoms all using the Sentinel/Guide fanon.

To sign up for the challenge please reply with a comment on the sign up post including your three titles and the fandoms you'll be writing in. The challenge is to create three stories between July 1 and July 31st. So you must submit three titles/fandoms when you comment. Do not ask questions or make comments on the sign up post. You can ask questions here. To give you an example these are my three titles:

1. From Blue to Green (Stargate: Atlantis)
2. A Delicate Balance (Criminal Minds)
3. Ten Years After the War (Harry Potter)

You must be signed up by June 15 in order to participate!

(you must be a member to read, sign up and participate)
keiramarcos: (Default)
So, Facebook changed their policies and require a cell phone for account verification(???). I think it's bullshit but whatever. I don't know if this will work but it's worth a shot. If you want a Facebook account but don't have a cell phone -- check out this article on getting text messages online:


PS- I was able to create a new account today (that makes 4 for me) with just a gmail account.
keiramarcos: (farscape)
So Cockprovider and I were talking about "street harrassment" and the impact it has on women. He was actually pretty dubious about the entire concept but he's got Dick Privilege so he has no idea what it's like to walk around in this world surrounded by walking, moving threats. I'm not saying that every single man I see/meet/pass by is out to attack or kill me-- but I am saying that most adult men between the ages of 16 and 50ish could easily overpower me physically which makes them a threat on an instinctual level.

I told him that while I don't often encounter outright harrassment from men on the street because frankly I don't walk down "streets". I drive places, park, get out of my car and go in. It isn't like living in a city like New York where sometimes it's easier to walk or take the bus. BUT what I do get is store harrassment. The only time I can normally by pass comments is if I'm on the phone and even then I get leering behavior and little smirks when men who should be old enough to know better check out my tits in the most obvious way possible. The worst? Smacking their lips. I have grown men smack their lips at my tits.

So I made him go a large grocery store with me for an experiment and we both got carts and he pretended he wasn't with me.

I was propositioned twice in produce. The most "mature" of the two comments was "Nice melons, sweetheart." I was no where near the cantalope.

In the meat department, while in line to get a roast and some sliced ham from the butcher I got these comments:

"So you like thick meat?" (Leering grin) from another (different from melon guy) customer after I told the butcher how thick I wanted the ham sliced. I ignore him.

"Getting a beef roast? I prefer nice porking... I mean pork roast." He's very persistant.

I roll my eyes and hope that he's run out of meat references. He hasn't because he says, "this stuffed sausage is on sale but you can have mine for free."

Had my husband not there and had I not been determined to make a point, I'd have already this motherfucker off.

The butcher who is glaring at the man just keeps mouthing he's sorry to me. I get my stuff and I leave. My husband is, by the way, already ten kinds of fucking furious but he's maintaining his "cover".

In the baking section, a man "helps" me get something from a shelf that I could've reached myself and looks down my shirt while he does it. He almost dumps 5lbs of flour on me. Due to brain-washing (ie manners) I actually thank this motherfucker for his help and he responds, "any time, sweet thing."

In dairy, the man from the meat department finds me and he's all grinning and smug when he says, "Caught ya!"

I start looking at the dates on the organic milk without acknowledging him and my husband says, "if you say one more word to my wife, I'm going to end you."

And thus our experiment ended. The dude scurried off and CP pointed one finger at me: "You are never going to the fucking grocery store by yourself again."

To which I responded, "I'm a grown woman. I do what I want."

And he didn't even notice the three different men who reached across me to get something and purposely rubbed their arm across my chest or ass. Just sayin'
keiramarcos: (Default)


Dec 12 (9 days ago)
to me
I wanted to thank you for the conversation we had over last week.  I
found you to be terrifically entertaining and instructive.

I'd almost forgotten what a prima donna is.  Before last week I would
have said I'd only encountered one in the Harry Potter fandom; just
after I entered it nine years ago.  But that lady, I realise now,
wasn't a true prima donna; her childish tantrum was amplified by ego
but still, by and large, based on a philosophical disagreement (the
merit of Harry/Ginny :-)).  She was nothing compared to you, a true
prima donna who is driven entirely by ego and personal comfort/issues
from the start.

It was such fun chatting with you!  With each reply I felt a whiff of
nostalgia, memories of how I felt back in those early days when
everything and everyone was so strange and exciting and new.  As my
first case of an authentic prima donna I felt like I was again
exploring new territory every time I came across a new response from

It's always great fun to note the many mistakes made by nasty
opponents; even more so, I found, when the person on the other side is
driven purely by ego; the bigger (they think) they are, the harder
they fall, etc.  You go out of your way to send me a message to
instruct me to follow the rule on your front page ... clearly not
comprehending that I had never been in contravention of that rule in
the first place.  That was funny.  As was the lack of logic you
demonstrated in our extended conversation on Chapter 2.  Conjuring
strawmen out of thin air.  Whipping up fashionable labels - 'passive
aggression', 'entitlement' - but entirely missing the point that the
connection of such conveniences has to be established for them to have
any power.

But it was your snark, your pure bitchiness, which made your case so
interesting and entertaining.  'Bitchiness' is the word that perfectly
describes your words, and - unlike typical correspondence - I know I
can employ it with no fear of being accused of engendering emotional
distress on your part, since you clearly glory in being a bitch (your
home page having a 'Bitch Box' news feed and a 'Support a Bitch'
paypal button).  Now *that* label - 'bitch' - you got right.

From the very start - your e-mail laying down your broken 'no
criticism' rule, and your initial reply for Chapter 2 - "you thought
it perfectly okay to let me know what you would've written instead" -
you had me wriggling in my chair in pleasure at the pure ego-driven
snark you were producing.  What a brilliant example of a prima donna!
I'm so pleased I came across you; I just wish I could analyse you
properly.  What made you this way?  Were you always an arrogant bitch?
 Are you like that in real life?  Or do you compartmentalise?  Surely
so?  How many sycophantic 'minions' were required to make you this
way?  I wish I was able to investigate you thoroughly, see what makes
a prima donnna like you tick.  What a wonderful specimen you are!

Keira Marcos

Dec 12 (9 days ago)
to Brad
No, Brad, thank you. That was the single best laugh I've had ALL MONTH.
Granted it's just the 12th and I haven't browsed my Youtube subscriptions in a week
so don't go getting a swelled head.
Are you doing this for attention?
Or are you just genuinely butt-hurt that I don't want your writing advice?
Dude, you aren't even a writer.


Dec 17 (4 days ago)
to me
> No, Brad, thank you. That was the single best laugh I've had ALL MONTH.

Methinks the flatness of your laughter is commensurate with the lack
of verisimilitude in your arguments.

> Granted it's just the 12th and I haven't browsed my Youtube subscriptions in
> a week so don't go getting a swelled head.

I assure you, in any conversation we might have, I will never be the
one with the swelled head.

> Are you doing this for attention?

Yes.  You've nailed it.

Rather than re-register on your site and post public comments that
other patrons might see I have instead opted for sending you private
communiques that only you will ever read.

*rolls eyes*

No.  I'm not doing it 'for the attention'.

> Or are you just genuinely butt-hurt that I don't want your writing advice?

Ah, another charming phrase - 'butt-hurt'.

No, I am not 'butt hurt' that you don't want my writing advice.

I'm simply astounded at the size of your ego, amazed at how
super-sensitive you are to criticism and appalled at the rudeness you
displayed to a first-time reader and visitor to your site.

> Dude, you aren't even a writer.

A classic defence by the losers I've met in the HP fandom.  It's not
the source that counts; it's the content.

If you were asked "who is more likely to give valid literary
criticism, Brad or a (fanfic) writer?", then your money should be on
the writer.  Of course.

But does that mean Brad - or any non-'writer' - can never, ever ever,
give some good advice?  Or more accurately - for my case - does that
mean that Brad or other non-writers can never, ever ever, even proffer
simple, reasonable *commentary*?

Of course not.

Many - most, I would wager - literary critics aren't writers
themselves.  Or are less luminary than the authors they review.

'Consider the source' is a cowardly ploy to avoid looking at the
actual critique itself.

Keira Marcos

Dec 18 (3 days ago)
to Brad


8:35 PM (1 hour ago)
to me
Isn't it amazing how just one word of two letters can provide so much

On 18/12/2014, Keira Marcos <> wrote:

> No.

Ha ha ha ha ha!!

So funny.

First of all, the confirmation that you can't rebut my assertions is
quite satisfying.  I don't go looking for arguments but it's always
nice when I win.

Secondly, the sheer silliness of your response.  You just wanted to
say ... that you have nothing to say?  Okay then.  Consider it said.

And then finally, the word itself - 'no'.  Really, you must understand
your denial means absolutely nothing to me, to anyone, given as it is
with no reasoning behind it.  Most silly people who just don't have
the intellectual courage to admit to being wrong would simply not
reply or otherwise descend into further ad hominem attacks.  But you,
instead, say 'no'.

Is that the prima donna aspect of personality coming into play, I
wonder?  Are you accustomed to minions falling into line at your

Fun stuff to contemplate.
> *Keira Marcos*

Keira Marcos

9:57 PM (22 minutes ago)
to Brad
You said you don't want attention but you obviously want mine.
You didn't "win" anything. You're an arrogant, ignorant prick.
Defending myself against your stupidity is a waste of time so I won't.
I said "no" because I'm done.  You have absolutely nothing of value to say
and I have no interest in engaging you in conversation so fuck off.
keiramarcos: (Default)
I'm aware of my Good Reads profile. I don't care either way about being listed there. Trying to manage that would be like trying to herd cats-- so I won't be investing any time in getting it removed. Ain't nobody got time for that. But make time to listen this:

keiramarcos: (Default)
You see, it's like this. Cock Provider fucking loves Cranberry Sierra Mist. The problem is -- it's a seasonal drink and you can only really buy it in the stores in the fall (in my area). It's also stocked in small amounts and sells out quickly. It's really annoying. Today, I was grocery shopping and I went to check to see if they had any (they hadn't had any in a week or more) and they had 4 twelve packs left and they were on sale so I could get all four for 10 bucks. Very cool, huh? So I start putting them in my cart and I get to pack number 4 and this man reached for it at the same time but I already had my fingers in the little carry hole-thing. So I picked it up and put in my cart. He huffed at me really loud. This is what happened next:

Dramatic Huffing Man: I wanted that.

Your First Lady of Porn: I got to it first.

Dramatic Huffing Man: You had three in your cart already-- you should give me the fourth one.

Your First Lady of Porn: No, I'm getting all four.

Dramatic Huffing Man: A good Christian would share.

Your First Lady of Porn: I'm not even a Christian so fuck off.

I walk away. He follows. Huffs and tries to talk to me again. He follows me all the way to frozen foods where I'm trying to navigate around three thousand (okay -- just five) people to get to the frozen french fries.

Dramatic Huffing Man: Just give me the fourth one or else.

(WOW -- I must have an asshole-magnet in my ass. I swear OR there are a lot of men who really can't handle being told no by a woman)

I turn and stare at him.

Your First Lady of Porn: OR else what, exactly? Are you going to take it from me? Are you going to report me to the manager of the store for failing to bow down to your old white dude entitlement? Are you going to call the cops and tell them I'm not giving you what you want? Seriously, just what do you plan to do?

He huffed twice and stalked off while every one around just stared. But, I'm a bitch so I couldn't let him walk away without shouting after him --- "Happy holidays, asshole!"

The things I do for my Cock Provider.


Dec. 12th, 2014 05:33 am
keiramarcos: (Default)

Brad emailed me. Brad is a new reader to my site and he was reading Harry Potter and the Soulmate Bond. I don't know if he still is (I don't care either way). I banned him from commenting my site -- the first troll to ever earn that particular distinction because he's disrespectful. I can't take him seriously but I figured he might make you bitches laugh.

Check out this delusional motherfucker from Australia:

BRAD says:

Read more... )
keiramarcos: (Default)

This month's challenge is Soul Mate Bonds and the ramifications of such. We have entries in mutliple fandoms among them: Harry Potter, Stargate, Teen Wolf, Avengers, & NCIS. There are also several original fiction projects in the works!

You can browse by title here:

Fandom is listed with the title. Once you click on a post archive -- just scroll down the very bottom to check out the project file the author posted at the start of the challenge.

My own project is called: With Your Heart on Your Sleeve and I'm writing in the Avengers fandom this month.

keiramarcos: (Default)
I'd like to thank everyone for all the messages through Facebook -- there were too many to reply to individually if I wanted to eat and go pee and stuff today. Special thanks to [ profile] esteefee, [ profile] spes_abrin, & [ profile] timespirt for the Virtual Gifts via Live Journal. I love those little things!

I'm having a birthday party and everyone is welcome to attend:

There will be a live chat and probably a few callers. We only have 2 hours so I don't know how many I'll be able to take. Please don't get upset if I don't get to take your call!

Also check out my birthday post on my site:

You guys are all super awesome!


April 2019

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