Money Talks
Jul. 31st, 2012 08:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
keiramarcosSo... there I was minding my own business and conducting an unplanned but fun writer's workshop thing at the cafe because a bunch of us were sitting there and we needed some writing exercises. We had a variety of "adult" writers with us this evening including a few who write truly legit PORN. I like to say I write porn but more often than not the industry labels with the terms "erotica" or "erotic romance" - which is just fine as I can get into more markets than someone who is labeled as a porn writer.
Anyways, we were sitting there minding our own business and discussing the modern porn industry when this woman comes up to us and tells us to leave. No really, she said, "All of you need to pack up your stuff and leave."
Now, we were on the second floor of the coffee house away from the dining area in an area traditionally used for group meetings and we often gather there. Normally there are several groups up in that space at any given time during the evening that range from a quilting circle to a motorcycle club full of lawyers who like to pretend their badass on weekends. (They have matching leather jackets and everything -- very hipster with their BMW bikes). There were no children or even teenagers on the second floor and we weren't talking in explicit terms since we were discussing the industry not the actual content we write.
I said, "I'm familiar with everyone who works in this place -- and you don't work here unless this is your first day. Of course, this if this is your first day -- I'm going to lobby to have you fired. I've made posters-on-sticks for less."
She says, "I'm going to complain to the manager and get you all thrown out."
And I said, "You do that little thing, sweetie." And waved her off.
Five minutes later, the owner huffs it up the stairs with the bitch at his heels looking all triumphant and shit. She points to us and he starts laughing. Really, really loudly and says, "Are you serious? You want me to throw out 15 coffee addicts who spend more money in a week than your entire bible study group does in a month because you're offended?"
She says, "They are talking about PORN."
And I nod, "We totally are." And I pretended to frown. "Are they going to start talking about the bible? If so, I'd like to lodge a complaint. I'm allergic to god-myths."
The owner just laughed and went back downstairs. The woman and her bible study group have been glaring at us ever since. I've said "COCK" twenty-two times in the last 15 minutes. Sci-Fi Writer is keeping a count.
Anyways, we were sitting there minding our own business and discussing the modern porn industry when this woman comes up to us and tells us to leave. No really, she said, "All of you need to pack up your stuff and leave."
Now, we were on the second floor of the coffee house away from the dining area in an area traditionally used for group meetings and we often gather there. Normally there are several groups up in that space at any given time during the evening that range from a quilting circle to a motorcycle club full of lawyers who like to pretend their badass on weekends. (They have matching leather jackets and everything -- very hipster with their BMW bikes). There were no children or even teenagers on the second floor and we weren't talking in explicit terms since we were discussing the industry not the actual content we write.
I said, "I'm familiar with everyone who works in this place -- and you don't work here unless this is your first day. Of course, this if this is your first day -- I'm going to lobby to have you fired. I've made posters-on-sticks for less."
She says, "I'm going to complain to the manager and get you all thrown out."
And I said, "You do that little thing, sweetie." And waved her off.
Five minutes later, the owner huffs it up the stairs with the bitch at his heels looking all triumphant and shit. She points to us and he starts laughing. Really, really loudly and says, "Are you serious? You want me to throw out 15 coffee addicts who spend more money in a week than your entire bible study group does in a month because you're offended?"
She says, "They are talking about PORN."
And I nod, "We totally are." And I pretended to frown. "Are they going to start talking about the bible? If so, I'd like to lodge a complaint. I'm allergic to god-myths."
The owner just laughed and went back downstairs. The woman and her bible study group have been glaring at us ever since. I've said "COCK" twenty-two times in the last 15 minutes. Sci-Fi Writer is keeping a count.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2012-08-01 01:28 am (UTC)For extra giggles one of you should demonstrate the proper way to perform oral sex using a doughnut or something as a visual aid.
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Date: 2012-08-01 01:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-08-01 01:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-08-01 01:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-08-01 01:33 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2012-08-01 01:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-08-01 01:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-08-01 01:33 am (UTC)I think all 15 of you should go down and buy another Coffee, just as a thanks for how cool the Cafe shop owner is.
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Date: 2012-08-01 01:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-08-01 01:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-08-01 01:38 am (UTC)... that was a bit stalkerish, huh?
I blame the fact I have been sewing for a week and a half with no breaks.
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Date: 2012-08-01 01:41 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2012-08-01 01:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-08-01 02:00 am (UTC)Have I told you lately that you totally rock!!
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Date: 2012-08-01 03:29 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2012-08-01 02:07 am (UTC)Even if that's saying cock a lot to drive away the narrow minded!
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Date: 2012-08-01 03:25 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2012-08-01 02:08 am (UTC)I can't say I've ever had a coffee shop discussion about porn, but my Gang of a Certain Age has been known to discuss things like menopause and other female irritants during breakfast at assorted diners. On Sunday mornings. ;-)
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Date: 2012-08-01 02:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-08-01 02:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-08-01 02:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-08-01 02:36 am (UTC)(In a purely admiring, envious, platonic way of course)
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Date: 2012-08-01 02:45 am (UTC)Oh, sorry...I got a little distracted. Anyway, you are the pinnacle of awesome. :D I love that your friend is actually tracking how many times you say cock. COCK! Hee! It actually has an amusing sound if repeated often. It's not as satisfying as FUCK, but it'll do. :D
Your posts warm my heart.
<333
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Date: 2012-08-01 02:53 am (UTC)I always love your work
Date: 2012-08-01 03:02 am (UTC)^5 X 10000000.
Prudes need to hide.
Re: I always love your work
From:No worries, I'm guilty too.
From:no subject
Date: 2012-08-01 02:55 am (UTC)I think the only way to top that would be to start discussing all those incidences of incest in the Bible, or how Lot offered his virgin daughters to an angry crowd for a gangbang, so long as they left him and his angelic visitors alone. Or how really pornographic the Song of Solomon is (why yes, I have had to do this, why do you ask?).
You know, biscotti are most excellent for demonstrations of how to avoid getting those messy pre-ejaculate drips on your silk blouse when giving quickie blow-jobs in the office... just sayin'...
no subject
Date: 2012-08-01 02:59 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2012-08-01 03:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-08-01 03:26 am (UTC)Little miss narrow minded had better stop listening to you all if she doesn't want her mind blown. Well done!
~L
P.S. The lube discussion sounds like fun. What was the conclusion?
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Date: 2012-08-01 03:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-08-01 03:47 am (UTC)I've had a few similar encounters this summer-- I started work on my first actual erotic romance in June and due to driving logistics, my writing partner (she doesnt write porn herself but she is supportive of my endeavor) and I have been meeting at her preferred coffee shop where I consistently find myself rubbing elbows with bible study groups. Havent been asked to leave yet but I do love the looks I get when I start talking about dicks XD