Beauty Supply Store
Sep. 2nd, 2012 05:41 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
keiramarcosMy senior year of high school, I was in a AP English course that often de-evolved into political debate. At the time, the big issue was abortion (not much as changed in the 10+ years since). There was this boy in the class -- who was so wrapped up his parents politics and religion (Catholic) that the only result was a rabid Republican in the making. We used to have intense, horrible arguments in class about religion, abortion, women's rights, gays in the military, etc etc etc.The only thing we ever agreed on was the fact that we pretty much hated each other.
Around Easter of my senior year, the teacher was gone for a week and our replacement teacher couldn't have given a fuck less what we did after we finished the three in-class essays the teacher assigned in her absense. Obviously, seventeen smart kids in a room with nothing to do are going to end up arguing one point or another. It was during one of these arguments that I was labeled a "femanazi" for the first time. It would not be the last--I have this hillbilly cousin that refers to me as his "Femanazi Relative". But that's okay because I call him my "Backwoods Cousin That Shall Not Be Discussed".
Regardless, Rapid Republican Boy and I argued so often during that week that people with free periods started sneaking into the class just to watch. It was during one of those "debates" that I came to realize just how much I think that abortion is NOT an issue that men should have a voice in. Many might disagree with me but that's okay; everyone is entitled to their opinion.
Anyways, Rapid Republican Boy says, "I don't know why I bother with you-- you're just a femanazi!" (something in that vein anyways, because I really only remember him being really frustrated and calling me a femanazi)
And I said (and have said often in the many years since): "I don't know why you think you're allowed to have an opinion about the contents of my vagina. It's my body and my choice. No man on this planet has the moral right to tell any woman what she should and should not do with her vagina. The fact that you think you're entitled to dictate what any woman does with her vagina is so foolish and ignorant that I can barely stand to look at you." (I said something similar to Backwoods Cousin That Shall Not Be Discussed and he solemnly informed me that I was going to hell).
Now, I went to a rural school-- the Future Farmers of America was the biggest "social club" in the school if that says anything. Regardless, three hours later at lunch in a room of five hundred+ people the school guidance counselor (I use that term very loosely) comes up to me and demands to know if I'd announced I was pregnant during English class. Because, apparently I should've firmly stated that my vagina was EMPTY at the time of that conversation. The whole room didn't go quiet but I'd say the fifty or so people in my immediate vincinity did.
And I said, "Of course not, like I'd let any of the jerk-off, redneck dipshits in this school fuck me much less knock me up."
To this day, I've yet to live that down. I don't even want to know how many of those jerk-offs considered that a challenge.
- - -
I told you that story to tell you this one.
Yesterday, my mother and I were in a Beauty Supply store looking for drill bits for our nail drill (we didn't find any but I bought a set on Amazon later) and we ran into that Rapid Republican Boy. I honestly didn't recognize him at first, what with the nose ring and the blue highlights in his hair. He was super friendly and hugged me and shit. Then he-- apologized with this, "Girl, I'm so sorry I was such a douche in high school. Being in the closet was mentally exhausting. You were the only outlet I had for my frustration. Also, sorry I told the whole school you were pregnant."
I glared at him really hard and said, "You little fucker -- that nail polish doesn't go with your skin tone and you're too old to pull of that hair. Also, the contents of my vagina is still none of your business."
Mom and I spent fifteen minutes picking him out some new polish. We're going to meet at the cafe next week so I can hear all about his coming out and his subsequent disownment and how he secretly voted for Bill Clinton twice. Out of spite, he is forever dubbed Closet Boy. How could he not know I would have been his BFF in High School?! Even then I knew a girl's best friend is a gay boy! I could've been his beard and he in turn coud've been my cock-block for all those ignorant savages I had to go to school with.
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chortle
Date: 2012-09-02 11:37 am (UTC)What a shame he couldn't have been your friend in high school, but his folks might have killed him. Who was it that said "if men could get pregnant birth control would be a sacrament"? Gloria Steinem? If they get to decide what I do with mine, I get to say what they do with theirs. "Viagra? No, I'm afraid you don't qualify...well, you're a little on the small side, and kind of an asshole, so..no."
I can just see you and your mother picking out nail colors for him! I gleefully await your retelling of his first meeting with the coffee group. Lordy, y'all would have totally destroyed your high school. Hey, was Cousin Stan in school with you then? There wouldn't be a wall left standing.
Re: chortle
Date: 2012-09-02 12:43 pm (UTC)Re: chortle
Date: 2012-09-04 11:51 am (UTC)If you've never heard of her, you should go read up on her. If you are an American Woman, especially one who isn't Caucasian, and you've never heard of her... well I'd say shame on you, but I have long despaired education in the US.
Re: chortle
Date: 2012-09-05 01:40 pm (UTC)I always ask 'em(right-to-lifers) how many unwanted/needy children they've adopted. I figure 3 apiece might be about right. Also, "if someone raped your daughter would you let her take the morning after pill?"
If you are not someone who can get pregnant, you don't get to say what I can do.
Re: chortle
Date: 2012-09-05 03:26 pm (UTC)In Canada (and yeah, I'm more than old enough to remember) once baby number 7 or so came along, a large number of women in hospital suddenly had "complications" that required a partial hysterectomy. The statistics would be funny if they weren't so horrifying. When Roe was decided, and if you could come up with $300 (which is about $1200 now), *and* had a way of getting across the border into Ogdensburg, you could get an abortion. It was still extremely difficult to get one here.
Then came Henri... and suddenly it was the other way around.
Thing is, the under 30 crowd simply do not remember what it was like. Any woman over 45 who is a staunch Republican or Conservative, I wonder about (were you brain dead in the 70's?). But it's the "kids" - they don't know what it was like when you had to get your husband's or father's permission to open a bank account. I'm watching the R&R show and wonder if this is where you're going.
I worry that young women like Keira are a loud yes, but in the minority.
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Date: 2012-09-02 11:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-02 12:06 pm (UTC)And love to your mum and closet boy!
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Date: 2012-09-02 12:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-02 12:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-02 01:01 pm (UTC)x
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Date: 2012-09-02 01:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-02 01:31 pm (UTC)but her reality show would be cool
Date: 2012-09-02 01:50 pm (UTC)A chuckle I was dearly in need of. Poor Closet Boy.
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Date: 2012-09-02 03:25 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2012-09-02 05:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-02 06:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-02 08:59 pm (UTC)I asked him if he has a poster of Adam Lambert on his wall.
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Date: 2012-09-02 07:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-02 07:46 pm (UTC)Every time one of my redneck nephews opens his mouth about gays, I think "you guys are in your 40's and only one of you is married".????
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Date: 2012-09-02 10:53 pm (UTC)And I came to that same conclusion about men's opinions about abortion not counting . . . lessee, must've been in the late 70s.
And while I'm here and commenting . . . are there any new ebooks in the works? My employer's wifi blocks your site, so if I want to read your stuff at lunch it needs to be ebooks. I've been anticipating the "What Might Have Been series" . . .
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Date: 2012-09-03 11:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-03 01:38 pm (UTC)Thank you!
DIY e-books
Date: 2012-09-03 02:08 pm (UTC)Keira's versions are a lot tidier, though, and I greedily download them as they become available.
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Date: 2012-09-04 09:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-03 03:16 am (UTC)How many bodies did Cousin Stan have to help you hide from the crop of idiots who found you to be a challenge?
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Date: 2012-09-03 11:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-03 02:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-03 03:37 am (UTC)And I so feel the same way about men not telling me what I can and can't do with my body. I'm also appalled at all the Replug bitches that go along with the fact of setting woman back so far in life we will be back in caveman days!
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Date: 2012-09-04 05:38 am (UTC)Where do they *find* these people??
Once again, dear lady, you have gifted me a big grin in a totally meh day. *puts his paws in his sleeves and bows* the one is most grateful, milady, most grateful indeed.
and then they all wonder why we aren't jumping at the chance to join their church and get "saved".
yah. oh-k, all-righty then!!
I figure this way. what are nominally "our" guys are a bunch of milquetoast corporate apologists. on the other hand, "their" guys -- well, if Adolf Hitler and Genghis Khan fucked and made man-babies together, and then those man-babies were all given rabies -- sound about right?
'nuff said, nies? Never stop snarking!!
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Date: 2012-09-04 09:09 am (UTC)He totally should have been your spear carrier and walker. There are few things a teenage gay boy needs more than a ferociously awesome teenage alpha bitch.
You continue to rock my world.
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Date: 2012-09-05 12:10 am (UTC)icon envy
Date: 2012-09-05 01:41 pm (UTC)