Do Men Get Lonely at Work?

[keiramarcos]

Here's the thing. When my husband comes home -- he spends the first two hours or so wondering in and out of my office while I'm trying to write and work (or bitch on Facebook). He tells me crazy, unimportant things that I could not give a flying backwards fuck about. No really. There are stories with no point. Bitching about his Mormon co-worker which, okay, I'll give him that one. That dude is a Grade A asshat and it has nothing to do with his religion that's just how I remember which one he is.

Now, I realize that my husband wanting to spend time with me might SOUND charming. But you know what? When I'm trying to write filthy butt sex it's a real problem around here. You know what this means? That's right -- my husband is a total cock block.

I told him so.

It's been fifteen minutes and he's still speechless.

Comments

[fardareismai2.livejournal.com]

You know, you'd think the people in your life would stop being struck speechless by the things you say by now! LOL! External distractions such as husbands and kids and Dora the Explorer have stopped being cockblocks for me. Instead I let my ADD-like tendencies distract me. Frankly, these days reading about the above couple has me completely distracted.

[ladyholder.livejournal.com]

LOL. What a thing to say to a straight man. He should know better than to interrupt your porn time.

~L

[nikkiwhitecraft.livejournal.com]

oh oh Sweetie, I so need the laugh this gave me this week.

thank you so much for being you

[indigocat.livejournal.com]

I am so glad I wasn't drinking when I read "my husband is a total cock block." Funniest thing I've read in awhile.

[goddess47]

Oh, thank god it's not just me....

The hubby, in what I know is an otherwise sweet effort to be helpful and spend time together, asks about dinner plan in the morning, starts the meal if I leave him something simple to do and sounds worried when I come home (always after he does, longer story) when I don't tell him what we're having and he worriedly says, "I didn't know what you had planned."

And I don't even get 5 minutes after I get home to pee or change my clothes when he's in setting the table and poking in the fridge to see what else he can do to be helpful.

This is a man who HATES TO COOK. From the day I married him -- 35+ years ago -- he has hated to cook. Making a hot meal was tuna salad (tuna and mayo only) on toast. Not sure what's changed but I'm pretty sure it's weird!

Good luck with your filthy butt sex!

[qzee.livejournal.com]

next time he walks in to bother you when you're in the middle of a sex scene, start reading it out loud to him. Especially if it's buttsex. Maybe that would cure the tendency.

[azurehart.livejournal.com]

Just keep a tab open with some of the filthiest gay porn you can find and when he comes into bug you pull it up on your big monitor and hit play.

Or go to my tumblr and hit the "something to freak out Keira's CP" tag. Things there are guaranteed to make him scream like a little girl.

[triskellion.livejournal.com]

Mine does that too, wants to talk and talk. Doesn't much matter if I listen. But it plays havoc with writing and editing all the same. I've never tried the cock block line. I think he'd be in shock for a good day. He doesn't like to think about my writing preferences.

[djaddict.livejournal.com]

It's like they have this radar and know when we are getting to the really good part and they have to interrupt because we are supposed to be all about their cocks not anyone else's. lol

[adafrog.livejournal.com]

lolol

[starwatcher]

.
It's been fifteen minutes and he's still speechless.

*snort*

*giggle*
.

[i-cant-talk-now.livejournal.com]

I thought this was March Madness? At work, there are at least 3 different games pulled up on multiple TVs. I would think your man's penis would be acting as a dowser and pointing him toward his man cave and the tv remote.

[azurehart.livejournal.com]

Thank you for making me laugh.

[chris-king-2005.livejournal.com]

*laughing my head off*

You are totally awesome...and I can just imagine the CP's expression!

*fangirling cuz you're writing smut*

\o/

I think to do get lonely

[cold-shuga.livejournal.com]

See this is what happens when we tell our husbands/significant other that they need to communicate more. Share their feelings. Talk.

They do!

My sister looks forward to her's going away to hang out with his mates so he stops telling her every. little. thing. he. does.

I believe he then tells these stories to his friends. But they don't give him enough "feminine perspective".

Go figure.

Re: I think to do get lonely

[inu-spockya.livejournal.com]

see, here's the thing: the absolute worst thing ye can say to most of us lads is any variant of "Honey? We need to talk about our relationship." Clears us out the room faster'n a can of Bee-Bop kills a swarm of pissed-off wasps.

heh. and none can call me traitor, for that's no a conversation *any* of us, gay or straight, wants to partake in. *feigns a delicate shudder*.

lolol at the cock-block line, good thing I dinna have a mouthful of tea or coffee just then, heh...

[seadragonlady.livejournal.com]

That's right -- my husband is a total cock block.

I told him so.

Are there pictures?

[etrangerici.livejournal.com]

Bwahahaha!

It's so true.

And "uh huh, uh huh, uh huh..." with frequent looks back at the computer screen Do. Not. Work.

[lillyjk.livejournal.com]

My husband does this too. Drives me nuts and I'm just trying to READ the butt sex most of the time

[auntbijou.livejournal.com]

Well, you know........ he's just decompressing, and he's doing it with his favorite person in the world. His timing, however, sucks.

My husband does the same thing, and sometimes, I give him the Hairy Eyeball and he goes away until I'm not so cranky the writing frenzy is over, and other times, especially if steam is coming out of his ears and he's grinding his teeth, I listen and provide the appropriate distractions. Or bend over and take it like a man. Whatever gets the mission accomplished, you know?