Not Crazy

[keiramarcos]

Life can get FULL. I mean, stupidly full in a way that is no way a delight. Your to do list gets bigger and bigger and frankly it never seems to end. I used to wear this t-shirt:

I try to take days one at a time. I divide my to-do lists into doable little lists that don't look like I'm going to have to live forever just to get everything fucking done. I did tell someone once that I could never die because I had too much shit to do.

Yet, if my life were simple I'd be bored out of my fucking mind. Honestly. Totally seriously. In those rare moments when I have nothing literally to do for one reason or another (stores are closed, I can't call people at 3am to tell them how stupid they are, and the like), I realize that being bored is practically a brain death for me.

I fill my head up constantly. I write whole books in my head. I create characters and have internal conversations with them to see what makes them tick. Is it crazy to admit that I've actually done this and come to absolutely hate a character because of it? It is very uncomfortable to hate someone in your head.

Comments

[fanarts-series.livejournal.com]

I think that inner discussion in the head is healthy, helped me a lot to figure out something.
For the structure too.

[sarehkert.livejournal.com]

Uncomfortable maybe? But isn't this how you build such brilliant characters? Both hero and villain.

Don't you wish you could hook a computer up to you brain and hit "download" to save trying to write/type it all out?

It's never the same :(

[keiramarcos]

Yeah, the download option would be fantastic.

[batspit.livejournal.com]

Better you should have arguments with unwritten characters than having arguments in your head with people you know but who aren't actually present for the argument. Because then you're pissed off at people who didn't actually do anything, but that doesn't make the argument any less real to you.

[tygtig.livejournal.com]

I've woken up in the morning being absolutely pissed with my husband because I dreamed he did something stupid. He claims this is unfair.

[keiramarcos]

That's just a common marriage hazard.

He brings that shit on himself.

[ladyholder.livejournal.com]

You aren't the only one who thinks boredom is something to avoid like the plague... I am not a happy camper at the thought of it either...

And talking to my characters? Of course I do. I have even been known to act out some scene that I am trying to write. If only so I can get the movements down!

So, no. You aren't crazy. You aren't even unusual. Really.

~L

[keiramarcos]

LOL.

I act out scenes too.

I made myself cry once doing that shit.

[chris-king-2005.livejournal.com]

Author brains!

You're all awesome. The very concept of downloading your brains makes me feel all shivery inside.

Boredom is excruciating. On the rare occassions I coudn't pull off the flashlight under the covers trick (or reading by the hall light or any of the other strategies I employed to be able to read when the grownups thought I should be sleeping) I would tell myself stories for hours...

[auntbijou.livejournal.com]

I have entire conversations with characters in the shower, or while I'm driving. It helps saying things out loud, because what looks good on paper sometimes doesn't work so well verbally. Glad to know I'm not the only one.

[azurehart.livejournal.com]

I come from a long line of crazy people on both sides of the family.

There are the usual diagnosed and medically treated mental disorders. Bi-polar, multiple personalities, psychopaths, sociopaths... Then there are the "interesting ones".

Like cousin Bill who was arrested (twice) for breaking into bowling alleys so he could make sweet sweet love to the bowling shoes.

Or cousin Sara who swears up and down that her son Bobby was fathered by Bigfoot. (I'm pretty sure that his Dad was actually just a really hairy biker... or possibly a furry in a gorilla suit)

So compared with all that I'm so normal that I'm almost boring. So what if I carry on conversations with the imaginary people that live in my head? At least I'm not boinking a Yeti.

[keiramarcos]

"At least I'm not boinking a Yeti"

T-Shirt.

[ladyholder.livejournal.com]

LOL...

~L

[anneruane.livejournal.com]

I'll hold entire conversations aloud with characters when I'm home alone or driving. I keep waiting to slip up and do this in front of my son or husband thinking that no one's there. I'm bookmarking this post and video for the day that I do. :o)

[justalurkr.livejournal.com]

No, not crazy. Creative. It's a fine line, but as far as I can tell, you're on the healthy side of it.

Edited to add:this diagnosis provided by a woman who is on a three-drug cocktail in order to leave her house in the morning, in the interests of full disclosure. :D