Vexed

I'm going to get a little personal with you, don't worry, it won't hurt (much). Here's the thing since I was sixteen I've worn a 34D bra. All through college and my twenties -- never changed. Sometimes in designer bras I had to go up to a 36D which was fine. Right? Sizes do vary and I'm comfortable with that. This morning, my mother and I were in JC Penny's changing room trying on some stuff and I mentioned I needed a new bra. She offered to go snag a few off the rack for me to try on and would return ever once in a while with the following questions like:

Her: Did you want functional or sexy?
Me: Can't I have both
Her: (snort) Not in a D cup
Me: Functional but nothing white or beige

None of them are comfortable. Not a single one. Though you should replace your bras at least once a year (especially if you're stacked like me) I haven't actually bought a bra in about two years. So she suggests trying some 36 and 38s -- I agree and none them are remotely comfortable either. They weren't too tight -- the fit was just horrible and I figured it was more me being picky than anything else.

My mother disagreed and said: Let's try a 36DD
Me: No fucking way am I a DD.
Her: Are you sure? I think you should try.
Me: No. Absolutely not. I'm not a DD. I've worn a D cup since I was 16.
Her: Well, far be it from me to alter your self-perceptions regarding your tits -- but I think you're wrong.
Me: No.
She threw a 36DD at my head and said: Don't be an idiot.

I try it on and I'll be goddamned if it doesn't fit perfectly. It's easily the most comfortable bra I've ever worn.

She'll be impossible to live with from now on and worse? The sales lady just laughed at us the entire time.