My tweets

[keiramarcos]

• Thu, 13:05: My creepy great uncle called me sexy. #gross
• Thu, 18:21: Mom said, "I look younger than all of them. They look like shit. That's what smoking, whoring, and drinking does to you, you know."
• Thu, 18:22: I said, "I'd apologize for my mother but it would be insincere and there's no need for that." #family
• Thu, 18:24: My sister said, "I wish I was adopted." And I said, "What makes you think you're not?" #trollbusiness #family
• Thu, 18:29: Three of my cousins brought "new husbands" over. One brought her first, second, and current husband. #sportmarriage
• Thu, 18:42: Stan and I are hiding on the sunporch and fighting over my tablet. It's not my fault he didn't come prepared to entertain himself.
• Thu, 18:43: We're only allowing our other cousins to join us if they bring food offerings. #riteofpassage #family
• Thu, 18:44: Stan demanded, "Tell all of your minions that you're a cruel bitch." And I said, "That's why they love me." #family
• Thu, 18:47: Aunt Busybody is keeping a list of people who didn't show up so she can remove them from her will for being "callous little bastards".
• Thu, 18:58: Number of able bodied adults in the house: 37 Number of guns: 23 #countrypeople #family

• Thu, 19:13: Stan says, "I chose not to breed as a public service. Just look at our fucking family."
• Thu, 19:16: Our cousin, the motorcycle mechanic, said, "There are so many fucking crazy people around here, that I figured I could make my own."
• Thu, 19:17: Trucker Cousin, "I think my kids aren't mine. They're really NORMAL. It's kind of infuriating." #family
• Thu, 19:28: And mom said, "I didn't say there was anything wrong with being a whore. I just said it makes you old." #truefacts
• Thu, 19:34: I said, "no, you can't read my porn." he said, "as long as there's cocksucking I don't care." I hooked him up. #tiesthatbind
• Thu, 19:45: Stan, "Crazy is genetic, right?" Me, "Some kinds are, yes. Why?" He just sighed and drank half a beer.
• Thu, 19:53: Facebook keeps locking up on my tablet. #boo
• Thu, 19:58: Coffee run (escape close at hand because we aren't coming back). Mom called me a "fucking traitor" under her breath.
• Thu, 20:10: Stan is a terrible driver but coffee is in sight so I'm going to dig deep and find my Inner Spartan. #family
• Thu, 20:20: We voted. We understood less than 10% of what the pastor said due to his extreme southern accent. #TheyPipeInSunshineWhereHeLives

• Thu, 20:23: For the record we are all souther born and raised. #seriously
• Thu, 20:25: Inner Spartan because who the fuck needs an inner goddess? My goddess is all up front and in your face, motherfucker. #thisisSPARTA
• Thu, 20:27: So I've had 3 cups of coffee in 10 minutes.
• Thu, 20:27: I'm gonna either be up all night or crash like a 2 year old coming down off a halloween candy high.
• Thu, 20:41: My tablet is going dead. Damn it.

Comments

[iadorespike]

You are made of win in so many ways...you made yesterday a riot. ;) Seriously, though, is March 26th some kind of Holiday that I'm not aware of - or is the last Thursday of March your Family Day? Can't believe that Cousin Stan was so unprepared! Seriously, what was he thinking?! LOL

I got my Twitter account so that I could follow you. I have never regretted it. ;)

Thanks so much, Keira!

♥

Anna

[keiramarcos]

We were all gathered for a wake. No one got shot so that's a something.

[iadorespike]

Yikes, a wake. :( So sorry for your loss. Still, the majority of the adults in the family that were present take a gun to a wake? Wow. I'm cheering the fact that no one got shot! That's definitely something.

*hugs*

[ex_moondancer561 (from livejournal.com)]

Maybe the rest lost their carry rights? :P

[keiramarcos]

All of the adults brought a gun. Myself included.

[rowaine.livejournal.com]

LIKE! wait, not enough... LOVE! nope, must go with *WORSHIP*

at least you have a few decent ones on your side (the outside, ignore all this shit crowd), but very glad you made it through in one piece and caffeinated