Cult Personality

[keiramarcos]

My husband is an introvert and keeps to himself even with family. I didn't realize this about him, honestly, until we'd been together a while. The fact is that he focused on me and I liked it. I've never had to worry about his attention wandering away from me in practically any situation because I'm his person--his touch stone so to speak.

He counts on me to strike up conversations, carry the small talk, and make people feel like they're getting to know him even when they're not. He's the kind of person who'd rather not shake hands but will because he knows it's polite but he honestly doesn't tolerate other people touching him all that well at all.

Except for me.

His sister pointed out to me about a year after I started dating him that she hadn't been invited to hug him since she was in high school. Eventually, she realized he just wasn't comfortable with that level of contact even with family and stopped as she said "inflicting her desire for physical affection on him". I was kind of floored actually because he hugs me (and has since the start) ten to fifteen times a freaking day. 

Honestly, he's all up in my space all the damn time.

I'm his person, his safe place, and his comfort all rolled up into one.

I'm an extrovert, you might have noticed, and will talk to strangers just as happily as I will to a person I've known for 20 years if I'm in the mood for conversation. I went to the grocery store the other day and had five conversations with complete strangers about everything from produce to the best organic milk. 

As we were leaving the parking lot my husband said, "It must be exhausting being you. It's no wonder you have the following you do online--it's like you have a cult personality or something."

And I responded, "Well I do run a cock worship cult actually so I can't even get mad."

Comments

[justalurkr]

You and your husband appear perfectly suited. Envy is the wrong word for what I feel as I'm a solitary hunter, but it's in the vicinity. Pleased for you both is actually on the nose!

[ladyholder]

I can understand where the both of you are coming from....

[twilight_seeker3]

My kids always sy I can make lifelong friends in the grocery store isle....it used to embarrass them...I am total hugger as well

[vlredreign]

You are me. A few years back, I was in SF with friends for Pride. I talked to a couple of bears on the Muni (they'd just gotten married and were adorable), a few people at the parade and one of my friends said, 'how do you do that?' I'm all, 'do what?' She said 'start a conversation with random strangers?' I shrugged, because it's what I do.

[cold_shuga]

I am a mixture. I appear to be a people person and I make friends with everyone I meet. I can run a room and get stuff done. I have learnt to be that person because i was sent to therapy for being the other person. The other me. Or. Me. I don't like people touching me. My family is about all. I don't like people visiting my house or taking up my time unless I have designated that to be something that is happening. It is EXHAUSTING. I haven't found my you yet. My one person. I am mostly sad that it didn't happen when I was younger rather than bitter it hasn't happened. I think you few paragraphs have let my finally say out loud that I am ok with it. I do ok. *smile*

[timespirt]

I'm one of those cock worshiping minions!

[iadorespike]

Sounds lovely. It's great that you two have such a well-meshed relationship that works for both of you. :) I'm just pleased to be part of that cult. LOL

*hugs*

[tahoeturquoise]

That sounds like watching the off-spring and his girlfriend. He accepts hugs from me and his grandmother, but he doesn't initiate - except with her. She bubbles, talks to everyone, stops to pet dogs, coos over cats and babies then comes back to his orbit and he smiles, wraps an arm or two around her and kisses her temple (13 inch height difference!) then lets go when something else catches her attention. Watching them always makes me smile!

[alisonk23]

My husband and I are like the two of you, only reversed. I am the introvert and more so since I stopped going out to work. We had a family "do" at the weekend, 10 adults including me. We were among the first to get there and as all the others arrived I could feel myself shutting down and frankly, just wanting to get away into a room by myself. That's a group of people I *know*. I can't begin to contemplate a similar or larger gathering of strangers! That's why we have said thank you, but no to the invitation to a huge wedding this autumn (think 4 Weddings territory). I had a conniption just imagining attending!

[adafrog]

lol Love your reply.

ITA with justalurkr.

[wordwitch]

...
Wow. You have managed to catch John Sheppard! Go you!

[ninja007]

OMG! This fits perfectly and it never dawned on me until you posted it.

Brilliant!