The Padawan

[keiramarcos]

One of my nephews is eleven years old. I'd be lying if I said he wasn't the apple of my eye. He's a vicious smart ass, we adore the same games and movies and he was all \o/ through most of the last Resident Evil movie. We have what everyone in my family affectionately calls "dates". I don't know that I'm teaching him good habits for when he actually does date a "real" girl. Though I have taught him that movies and a meal go together so he won't be cheap with his future girlfriend.

For the most part, he's a great kid though he is entering a stage where he is prone to pouting when he doesn't get his way. I ignore him until he gets tired of it which might not be the best tactic but I'm not his actual parent. I've only had two occasions to actually discipline him for behavior that I found completely unacceptable because like I said he's a great kid and he's old enough to realize that throwing a temper tantrum in public isn't going to get him a damn thing.

When he was 9 we were in a department store and he got his eye on this little toy that was cheap and not worth the money they were going to charge for it. I told him we'd go to a toy store later and get something better that was actually worth the money he wanted to spend. It pissed him off to be told no but he didn't throw a tantrum so I thought that was the end of it. (I bet mothers all over my flist are shaking their heads at me right now!)

So, a few minutes later we go back down that aisle because I still haven't found the action figure one of my friend's kid asked for his birthday. Out of the corner of my eye I watched my Padawan snag this little toy and put it right in his pocket. I was completely stunned. I turned to him and asked him if he thought I was stupid and he got all defensive and tried to pretend he didn't know what he was talking about.

There was a lady on the other end of the aisle blatantly watching us. I loathe nosy people and I also can't stand to be lied to and my nephew knew it. I admit to losing my temper with him because of the "innocent act" and said something like: "Empty your fucking pockets." And Nosy Woman got all huffy and bent over it.

He emptied his pockets and revealed the toy he'd tried to steal. I instructed him to put it back on the little hook thing it had been hanging on and then we emptied the cart out of everything I'd allowed him to pick out for himself which consisted of a Harry Potter book and a DVD movie. I remember the book because we're both huge fans of the series and I read the fifth book months before he did because I refused to buy it for him after that day for a long time. He didn't get it until Christmas and even then I was kind of grudging about it.

All the while I'm explaining to him why has losing the book and movie -- because liars and thieves shouldn't be rewarded and I probably used language that was inappropriate for a 9 year old but it isn't like my filthy mouth is a state secret in my family. He learned all the best curse words from me before he was even 5. I still get blamed for him calling his pre-school teacher "a twat" when she put him in time out. (I laughed on the inside for DAYS over that)

Nosy Woman finally just lost all ability to keep her mouth shut and interrupted us. She told me my language and behavior was abusive and that she should call CPS on me because I was obviously a horrible mother.

I opened my mouth to respond but I never got a chance because my Padawan said:

"Shut up, she's my Aunt not my mom and you need mind your own business."

Because in my family it is perfectly okay for us to berate each other but strangers aren't even remotely tolerated.

After we left the store, I took him home and grounded him for a week. Then I went home, called the Sheriff's office and made an appointment for the two of us for the following week. I picked up him, took him to the County Jail where he got lectured about stealing from a professional and then put in a cell for three minutes that had him so wide-eyed and horrified that he promised he wouldn't even ever cheat on his spelling test again.

Aside-- The single biggest threat in my family goes like this:

"Fine--do what you want but if you get arrested and end up in jail I'm not putting money on your account for cigarettes and various other sundries to keep you from being someone's prison bitch."

Comments

[diva0789.livejournal.com]

LMAO.

[bostongirl2003.livejournal.com]

there is so much awesome in this story I wish I could watch a re-enactment.

[syble4.livejournal.com]

I so wish I could have done that to a few of my nephews.

[lauritanner.livejournal.com]

You rock. You are more of a parent than most parents out there. Love the object lesson and the obvious love your family has for one another.

[atuinsails.livejournal.com]

Your nephew sounds a cool guy. I'm pretty sure you have him on the right track as far as dating goes. After all, he has to know you break out the big guns if he wasn't on his best behavior.

[ladyholder.livejournal.com]

You are good Aunt.

Also that lady is a nosy, stupid nut.

~L

[nawag1r.livejournal.com]

You are my Hero.

[veggiesueh.livejournal.com]

You are officially the world's greatest aunt!

[melonbutterfly.livejournal.com]

Your nephew is lucky to have you. I'm sure you don't need me to tell you, but that was exactly the right reaction. :)

[tygtig.livejournal.com]

You can babysit my kid ANY day. :-D

[anneruane.livejournal.com]

Mine too!

[ohpuppies.livejournal.com]

LMAO

This! This is why I homeschool my children.

Even before they were school age, my husband and I realized (from long association with younger children - he as a camp counselor and myself as auntie, babysitter, foster mom) that our children were going to be sarcastic, strong-willed, thick-skinned and well able to stand up to just about anyone.

So when the call came from her Sunday School teacher (when she attends with her grandparents).

"Hi, are you Alexis' mother or father?"
"Nope, we just picked her up on the roadside from a gypsy."
"Never mind, we see where she gets it. Please make arrangements to keep her in Service with you."

Somehow, we weren't surprised. Apparently, she'd confronted the teacher about the usefulness of making foam eggs on Easter and referred to it as 'moronic make-work'.

I salute you and your Padawan!

LMFAO!

[prostock69.livejournal.com]

"I still get blamed for him calling his pre-school teacher "a twat" when she put him in time out. (I laughed on the inside for DAYS over that)" That left me in hysterics!

[hab318princess.livejournal.com]

absorbs and will apply to junior (though possibly with more censored language in deference to hubby)

[crossidmary.livejournal.com]

"I still get blamed for him calling his pre-school teacher "a twat" when she put him in time out." had me crying I was laughing so hard.

Also, have you heard of www.savvyauntie.com?

[tamstercmt.livejournal.com]

I can just see you kicking his ass if he treats a girl wrong. On the other hand, maybe he should decide now to become a monk, 'cause you probably won't like anyone he brings home. :-)

[ladyeigh.livejournal.com]

I wish you could school some of the little ******** that I deal with every day.

K

[mockingbirdq.livejournal.com]

In my opinion, the mother who did exactly what you did - taking away the goodies and putting the fear in him- IS the good mom (or good aunt, as the case may be!) The fact that the nosy woman felt that it was abusive makes me pray her children never meet mine because I'll bet they are entitled little brats @_@ In my family growing up, shoplifting attempts warranted having to go to the manager of the store and confess what we'd tried to do, as well as a whippin' and a round of cussin' from my dad.

But then again,I grew up white trash in deep East Texas so maybe my viewpoint is skewed :P

[adafrog.livejournal.com]

You win so much!

[yanagi-wa.livejournal.com]

*snicker*

[spikespet7.livejournal.com]

Love your story, my Godbrat was a force to be reckoned with since birth.....

Now, Elvis....does this mean he created pole dancing, LOL....


Kimber

[rhiannon-wing.livejournal.com]

Heh, I love this. I grew up the same way, steal from a store, get your ass whupped...usually with a switch you had to cut yourself. And that was on top of having to confess, AND pay for what you stole, with out getting it.

Of course, catching me and my brother at it could be hard, we were accomplished pickpockets at 5 or so. We were taught tho, while it was acceptable to snitch from family members, we had to give it back, and could NEVER EVER take from a store or someone who didn't know us. (I still know down to the penny whats in my pockets and purse, as my godnephews have picked up the habit.) The punishment was truly an avoidance maker when you got caught.(and you would, dad was a cop. Lol)

This? Am Printing Out and Posting on Fridge for Nephews

[kelly scanlon (from livejournal.com)]

This is going on my fridge for my nephews. Keira- YES! This is how to behave with a kid who acts out- scare the hell out of them (in an appropriate manner, from which they will learn) and you are a ROCKING aunt for standing up. Thank you and yes, I'd like to see a reenactment too.

[chris-king-2005.livejournal.com]

*does the geriatric fangirl chairdance of glee*

The Awesome gene breeds true in your family, doesn't it?

You're a good Auntie, dirty mouth or not.

In fact, I think most of us adore you for being such a dirty, dirty girl. We're all rabid fangirls for your imagination. You totally win at writing filthy, smoking hot smut - for just about any pairing or fandom.

Is the Most Sincerely Reformed Young Nephew creative at all? I'm wondering if that particular gift runs in the family too.

\o/

Can you teach my dad & his wife?

[fanomy.livejournal.com]

The only thing they got right with their kid is bed time, & even that is because he sleeps in their bed & he has abandonment problems. He's a good kid, smart, & he is going to be angry at them when he grows-up.

[caliadragon.livejournal.com]

I love this story and it reminded me of the time my nephew and I were in walhell and he decided he wanted a little toy. When I told him no he was quiet and seemed to understand. Then a kid up from us threw a temper tantrum and his Mothe gave in. My nephew sees the kid getting his way and decides to follow his example. I told him no and forced him to ride in the cart like a 'baby'. The woman who had given her kid the toy tells me I was being unfair. I calmly informed the woman that she was a stupid bitch and her kid was going to be one of those that years from now she was going to be asking what she did wrong while he was someones girlfriend in the County lockup. She huffed walked away and called store security on me. They told her to grow up and think about getting her own kid under control before telling someone else how to act. I laughed at her and walked away.