Too Young for a Red Hat
May. 20th, 2011 06:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
keiramarcosI started writing fan fiction to escape. It's true and even though it appears I don't have much to escape from -- everyone needs an escape, a safe place to let go of their individual burdens and not have to worry about anything but amusing themselves.
I'll be the first to admit that I take some things in my life for granted. Some things just come so damned easy to me that I've never stopped to consider how awesome those things are. Career wise I'm not super successful OR on the edge of failure. I'm in the middle ground--comfortable and even content most of the time. Do I wish for more? Sure, but it isn't a driving, unbearable ache in me. Being content in that particular area is pretty damned cool in retrospect.
I lie blatantly about my age on LJ, FB, and even my own site in some weird effort to hide who I really am. It probably isn't the only lie I tell to keep my identities online and in real life separate. Maybe, I don't even need to but I feel like I've dropped off into a black hole on this subject and if I confessed all now it would be a big huge deal where in the past it might not have even earned a mention. Because it boils down to this--I'm more popular (statistics wise) on the Internet as Keira than I probably ever will be under any other name or pen name I might chose. I'm not even sure why to be honest. I never tried to get a lot of hits on my site--not like I do for other sites that I have. Perhaps it's because as Keira there is a freedom in me that I have no where else in my life. I can say what I want and honestly not give a fuck what anyone thinks about it. "Keira Marcos" is isolated, in her own little world where there are absolutely no repercussions for what she thinks and says. She doesn't have to explain herself to anyone.
As to my real age, I'm too young for a Red Hat and too old for hip huggers. I'm just the right age for ridiculous shoes, a semi-serious purse fetish, and and recently some pretty college boy asked me if I was interested in being HIS cougar. LOL. I hope I didn't hurt his ego too bad when I laughed at him because he was adorable.
Edited to add: Okay, you know what? I lie to everyone I can about my age. The only people who get a real number are my doctors. Last weekend I lied to my hair dresser about my age while my mother was around and she just nodded her head and agreed because when I'm younger, so is she!
I'll be the first to admit that I take some things in my life for granted. Some things just come so damned easy to me that I've never stopped to consider how awesome those things are. Career wise I'm not super successful OR on the edge of failure. I'm in the middle ground--comfortable and even content most of the time. Do I wish for more? Sure, but it isn't a driving, unbearable ache in me. Being content in that particular area is pretty damned cool in retrospect.
I lie blatantly about my age on LJ, FB, and even my own site in some weird effort to hide who I really am. It probably isn't the only lie I tell to keep my identities online and in real life separate. Maybe, I don't even need to but I feel like I've dropped off into a black hole on this subject and if I confessed all now it would be a big huge deal where in the past it might not have even earned a mention. Because it boils down to this--I'm more popular (statistics wise) on the Internet as Keira than I probably ever will be under any other name or pen name I might chose. I'm not even sure why to be honest. I never tried to get a lot of hits on my site--not like I do for other sites that I have. Perhaps it's because as Keira there is a freedom in me that I have no where else in my life. I can say what I want and honestly not give a fuck what anyone thinks about it. "Keira Marcos" is isolated, in her own little world where there are absolutely no repercussions for what she thinks and says. She doesn't have to explain herself to anyone.
As to my real age, I'm too young for a Red Hat and too old for hip huggers. I'm just the right age for ridiculous shoes, a semi-serious purse fetish, and and recently some pretty college boy asked me if I was interested in being HIS cougar. LOL. I hope I didn't hurt his ego too bad when I laughed at him because he was adorable.
Edited to add: Okay, you know what? I lie to everyone I can about my age. The only people who get a real number are my doctors. Last weekend I lied to my hair dresser about my age while my mother was around and she just nodded her head and agreed because when I'm younger, so is she!