The Horror
Jul. 6th, 2011 11:27 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
keiramarcosIn what will be known as The Great Oreo Betrayal of 2011, the Cock Provider absconded with the last of my Oreos and took them to work for his SNACK.
The man has no idea how he will suffer when he returns.
I've already sent him the following text message:
"Bring home more Double Stuffed Oreos OR else!"
I'm considering pulling our all of our luggage and putting it out in the front hall so he'll think I packed up his shit.
The man has no idea how he will suffer when he returns.
I've already sent him the following text message:
"Bring home more Double Stuffed Oreos OR else!"
I'm considering pulling our all of our luggage and putting it out in the front hall so he'll think I packed up his shit.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-07-06 04:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-06 04:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-06 04:47 pm (UTC)LOL. Let us know his reaction!
~L
no subject
Date: 2011-07-06 04:57 pm (UTC)No, not... THE LAST OREOS!! How could he? Doesn't he realize??? Never, never, never mess with a woman's supply of oreos!!! Seriously, that's actionable!!
*decides it's time to rotate the Emergency Chocolate Stash's hiding place*
no subject
Date: 2011-07-06 04:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-06 05:53 pm (UTC)take a photo of his most prized posession with todays paper and text it to him with your ransom - he deserves it
no subject
Date: 2011-07-06 11:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-06 06:00 pm (UTC)Brilliant!
no subject
Date: 2011-07-06 06:16 pm (UTC)...That sounds like a reasonable response to me.
no subject
Date: 2011-07-06 06:17 pm (UTC)"My oreos"
Does he realize that the snacks in the house belong to you and you only let him eat them? occasionally.
no subject
Date: 2011-07-06 06:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-06 08:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-06 10:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-06 11:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-06 11:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-06 11:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-07 12:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-07 02:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-07 04:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-07 05:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-07 05:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-09 04:29 am (UTC)the only recompense... homemade oreos
Date: 2011-07-07 05:37 am (UTC)Trust me, this recipe is fantastic. :-)
Cream Filled Chocolate Sandwiches from Martha Stewart Cookies
Ingredients
1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 cup Dutch-process cocoa powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1 1/2 cups sugar, plus more for flattening cookies
10 tablespoons (1 1/4 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature
1 large egg, room temperature
Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Into a medium-size bowl, sift together flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, baking powder, and salt; set aside.
In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream sugar and butter until light and fluffy, about 2 minutes. Add egg; beat to combine. With mixer on low speed, gradually add the flour mixture; continue beating until dough is well combined.
Using a 1 1/4-inch ice cream scoop, drop dough onto parchment-lined baking sheets about 2 inches apart. Dip bottom of a glass in sugar; press to flatten cookies to about 1/8 inch thick. (You may need to carefully remove dough from glass with a thin metal spatula.)
Transfer to oven, and bake until cookies are firm, about 10 to 12 minutes, rotating baking sheets halfway through. Transfer baking sheets to wire racks to cool completely.
Place cream filling in a pastry bag fitted with a coupler, and pipe about 1 tablespoon filling onto the flat side of half the cookies. Place remaining cookies on top, and gently press on each to squeeze filling to edges. Filled cookies can be stored in airtight containers at room temperature up to 2 days.
Delicious creamy filling:
Ingredients
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature
1/2 cup solid vegetable shortening
3 1/2 cups confectioners' sugar
1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract
In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream butter and shortening until well combined. With mixer on low speed, gradually add the confectioners' sugar, and continue beating until light and fluffy, about 2 minutes. Add the vanilla, and beat to combine. Set aside at room temperature until ready to use.
Re: the only recompense... homemade oreos
Date: 2011-07-07 10:25 am (UTC)and yes, homemade stuff can make up for any wrong done
Re: the only recompense... homemade oreos
Date: 2011-07-07 06:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-07 08:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-07 10:53 am (UTC)*throws a pom pom at the Oreo thief*
*giggling madly*
no subject
Date: 2011-07-07 01:08 pm (UTC)but I grew up around food stealing y chromosome carriers and I am too used to finding out that someone took my last chocolate on the worst day of THAT week, and in Germany where grocery stores are NOT open past 10pm or on sundays ! (or my last bag of chips, the ingredients for the cake, my last caffeinated beverage, the snacks for a long drive, half of the stuff I needed to cook dinner - you name it they stole it at some point in time)
So I am too used to the fact that men don't get it ...
no subject
Date: 2011-07-07 10:27 pm (UTC)However, when you're related to them a more fitting punishment would probably be to steal their car and their money and go to vegas for a few days.
Alternatively, you can also set their favorite things on fire. (as long as it's not an animal or anything like that.)
no subject
Date: 2011-07-07 06:30 pm (UTC)This was a high crime!
Snickers We got another dozen out of the incident.
no subject
Date: 2011-07-07 10:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-08 09:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-08 08:25 pm (UTC)Note I said "my ex".
So...
Date: 2011-07-11 05:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-19 03:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-20 07:53 pm (UTC)But mostly I've been in therapy trying to justify why it's perfectly okay for me to lead a cult of cock worshippers on the Internet.
no subject
Date: 2011-07-20 10:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-19 07:05 pm (UTC)(out of curiosity, am I the only one on the planet who can't put an Oreo in her mouth?)
no subject
Date: 2011-07-20 07:48 pm (UTC)But I did put the chain on the door and make him slide a package of oreos through the gap before I let him in the house.
What is Oreos
Date: 2013-03-05 10:00 am (UTC)Re: What is Oreos
Date: 2013-03-05 03:08 pm (UTC)Re: What is Oreos
Date: 2013-03-05 06:57 pm (UTC)